“Is it alright if I go to the bathroom now?!”

An illustrative observation to use on married couples who’ve taken the “We’re two people who’ve become one” so far that they need to be taken to school on a few subjects—like biology.

Jerry and George made a pact to grow up, which included getting married: George would look up a former flame who still dazzled him; Jerry would look closer at a woman who still puzzled him (she ate her peas one at a time). When Jerry told Kramer, Kramer taught Jerry about married life: no TV during dinner, etc. When Kramer mimicked what it would be like even trying to use the restroom when betrothed, Jerry’s thoughts of growing up turned to thoughts of throwing up.

Kramer’s mockery of marriage as stifling actually reveals how liberating marriage can be: a couple of individuals, a blissful co-existence. This is the lesson to give those you know whose marriage is one of awful codependenceMake your next chat with them a class, with you at the lectern, and Kramer’s line a ring of the bell to begin (e.g., “Is it alright if he goes to the bathroom now?”). With their attention at that point, cover any one of a number of subjects to illustrate: politics (e.g., “Marriage is like two nation-states…”); geography (e.g., “…settling on mutual territory…”); literature (e.g., “…the two-headed monster being, of course, a myth”); etc.

You want them to see their commitment as the institution that it is–not as an institution they commit themselves to.

From “The Engagement”
Episode 1, Season 7
Seinfeld Volume 6, Disc 1
Timecode for the scene: 4:45

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