“You’re a great guy. I love you, but you’re a pod.”

A back-slapping shout-out to use on those people in your life who look like human beings, act like human beings, but every time they open their mouths it becomes clearer that they're from another planet. Thanks to Jerry, Elaine landed the chance to rent an apartment in his building--a gesture he soon regretted when he… Continue reading “You’re a great guy. I love you, but you’re a pod.”

“I’m an old man. I’m confused!”

A proud confession--for young and old alike--for those times when you do something wrong and, at that moment, "I screwed up!" doesn't sound as compelling as "I've fallen and I can't get up!" Jerry's Uncle Leo swiped a few books at a bookstore and Jerry happened to see him do it. When Jerry alerted the store… Continue reading “I’m an old man. I’m confused!”

“Something’s missing alright.”

An under-the-breath observation to make when confronted with someone who doesn’t understand why the pieces of the puzzle before them don’t fit. But you understand. When George’s parents joined him and his fiancee, Susan Ross, for dinner with Susan’s parents, the cornish game hen they were eating set Mr. Costanza to pondering aloud which bird—the… Continue reading “Something’s missing alright.”

“I would lose that.”

A decisive comeback to use on anyone who drops a tired expression into a conversation. When a trivial conversation sidetracked Jerry and Elaine from talking to George about his piano-playing girlfriend, George cut in with a Can we cut to the chase? "Cut to the chase?" Jerry mocked. "Who are you, Joe Hollywood?" George had an answer for… Continue reading “I would lose that.”

“We mustn’t disturb the delicate genius!”

This post has been moved permanently to the book--a "Seinfeld survival guide for life"--now out on Amazon in paperback and ebook, with all new, previously unpublished material! Don't miss it. You want to keep dominating the dojo, don't you? Giddy up!