“I think Poppie’s got some problems.”

pizza_yeahthatskosher dot comA summary observation to make around people who know someone who has problems, but they act as though he or she has no problems. But you’ve no problem pointing it out.

When Jerry’s girlfriend took him to the eatery owned by her father, “Poppie,” Jerry excused himself before the meal that Poppie was to make. In the bathroom, Jerry was washing up, when out of one stall came Poppie, zipping up. A finger-flick double-check of the hair (and zipper), an Ah! Jerry, tonight you in for a real treat, and Poppie was out the door. Apoplectic, Jerry glanced at the stall—then the sink—then the stall…then later gabbed about it all to an unfazed George, who popped this unvarnished take. “There’s a whole other thing going on with Poppie,” he added flabbergastedly.

Clearly, this wasn’t the first restroom-related Poppie infraction. Surely, others in the restaurant had seen Poppie inaction but, for whatever reason, did not confront Poppie with his sloppiness.

Just the same—with any Poppie crossing your path—don’t talk about the Poppie in front of the Poppie. (And leave “Poppie” in the line, no matter whom this is directed toward. Poppie could be anybody, so use it on every-problematic-body.) And don’t confront the Poppie. This is not cause for a “Sloppy, Poppie?

This is diagnostic—not antagonistic. Not yet. Conditions must be right. Confer with a friend or other confidante to ensure you are not the one with the problems. Then make your move (contact health inspectors, slip him a mickey, etc.).

Then you can wash your hands of the situation.

From “The Pie”
Episode 15, Season 5
Seinfeld Disc 3, Volume 4
Timecode for the scene(s): 10:00-12:50

Dedicated to MFD

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