A witty comeback (or put-down, depending on your timing) for those times when you need a harmless way to tell someone that they don’t know what they’re talking about—even if they know what they’re talking about.
Kramer’s decision to start managing his time better in the shower sent him to Jerry for feedback on his shower time. When Jerry said he was out in ten minutes–a wash-and-rinse sprint compared to Kramer’s sudsy marathon (he was taking about an hour)–Kramer replied with the conviction of a man who thought Jerry was a kook.
You don’t know what you’re talking about is one of those irresistible lines, as gratifying as a piece of well-placed profanity. And, like profanity, it comes in various euphemistic shapes and sizes (e.g., “You’re crazy!”). What makes Kramer’s line the ideal substitute for this classic accusation is the disarming nature of the word “kooky.” If you’re right in your accusation, then kooky—so reminiscent of cookie (and what’s more harmless than a good cookie?)—will keep the conversation light enough to allow the listener to get out of that hole they just dug for themselves.
If you’re wrong, then you’re the one who just stepped in it…to the splashing sound of laughter all around you.
From “The Apology”
Episode 9, Season 9
Seinfeld Volume 8, Disc 2
Timecode for the scene: 2:40