Archive for the ‘The Comebacks’ Category

“But I don’t want to be a pirate!”
February 21, 2011

This post has been moved permanently to the book–a “Seinfeld survival guide for life”–now out on Amazon in paperback and ebook, with all new, previously unpublished material! Don’t miss it. You want to keep dominating the dojo, don’t you? Giddy up!

“That’s not sweetening the deal.”
December 4, 2010

This post has been moved permanently to the book–a “Seinfeld survival guide for life”–now out on Amazon in paperback and ebook, with all new, previously unpublished material! Don’t miss it. You want to keep dominating the dojo, don’t you? Giddy up!

“That’s kooky talk.”
September 22, 2010

This post has been moved permanently to the book–a “Seinfeld survival guide for life”–now out on Amazon in paperback and ebook, with all new, previously unpublished material! Don’t miss it. You want to keep dominating the dojo, don’t you? Giddy up!

“How about—it sucked.”
September 3, 2010

This post has been moved permanently to the book–a “Seinfeld survival guide for life”–now out on Amazon in paperback and ebook, with all new, previously unpublished material! Don’t miss it. You want to keep dominating the dojo, don’t you? Giddy up!

“Hi-lar-ious.”
September 1, 2010

A smarmy comeback to use when certain people in your life crack a joke at your expense, and you can’t let them think it was funny–even if it was funny.

Newman entered archnemesis Jerry’s apartment with Kramer, who asked to borrow Jerry’s pliers. “What, did Newman get another Army man stuck in his ear?” Jerry remarked. Staring at Jerry, Newman didn’t flinch–except to say this…in a low, comically-menacing voice.

This isn’t a question of you being able to laugh at yourself; of course you’re humble enough to do that. You’re just too proud to do that in front of anyone–sworn enemy or serious friend; it doesn’t matter–who would take you laughing at you as an opportunity to look down on you. With such people, you can’t be perceived as weak; that might shift the balance in the epic battle that is your relationship.

Newman might have actually had an Army man stuck in his ear but he wasn’t about to concede to Jerry in laughing about it.

From “The Reverse Peephole”
Episode 12, Season 9
Seinfeld Volume 8, Disc 2
Timecode for the scene: 2:06

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