“How about—it sucked.”

A daring comeback for when you’re faced with something that brings up the standard “Beauty is in the eye of the beholder”—and so is ugly, you feel the need to remind the beholder.

Elaine’s date suggested they see The English Patient because it was up for all those Oscars, so she went (even though she wanted to see Sack Lunch and find out what was up with all those people in the brown paper bag). Bumping into friends as they departed the theater, the friends gooed—”How could you not love that movie?”–and Elaine booed.

Ugly doesn’t get as much air time in conversation because that’s what the conversation itself might become if you go there. And this is one time when you should—go there when someone goes so ga-ga over the beauty of something, that they can’t see that everything has flaws. Flick these words like a lighter in the darkness of their thinking, and you’ll show them things they might not otherwise see. How do I love thee? they pine of that thing and count the ways. “How do I hate thee!” you interject about that thing, and count away too.

From “The English Patient”
Episode 17, Season 8
Seinfeld Volume 7, Disc 3
Timecode for the scene: 4:04

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