“What is this salty discharge?”

A befuddled observation to make when life forces are compelling you to be an Emoticon–but you will remain a Vulcan.

Jerry’s girlfriend goaded him to get really mad, because she hadn’t seen Jerry show such emotion. When Jerry finally did—ranting something about having had enough flan—Jerry’s girlfriend decided she’d had enough. She departed, and Jerry started wiping his eyes. “Oh my God, you’re crying,” Elaine chimed in. “This is horrible,” Jerry replied–and discovered the context for this phenomenon: “I care.”

You may be otherworldly in your ability to hide your feelings, but even you, like Jerry, have to keep a thing or two in that glass-faced box marked “Break in Case of Emotion”–just like the rest of humankind. That bumper sticker on your vehicle that says People say I don’t care…but I don’t care is no better than the polish on that vehicle: it’s rubbish, ultimately, in the face of time and circumstance. So when those teary moments come up, rare as they may be, reach for this observation.

The sterile wording will override whatever your tears are communicating, leaving those around you with this context: OMG…he doesn’t care!

From “The Serenity Now”
Episode 3, Season 9
Seinfeld Volume 8, Disc 1
Timecode for the scene: 11:05

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