“That’s not sweetening the deal.”

A tasteful comeback for every distasteful quid pro quo that comes your way.

During a vacation at the beach, Kramer asked Jerry to rub some suntan lotion on his back. “Who are you, Mrs. Robinson?” Jerry replied. Overlooking Jerry’s crack from The Graduate, Kramer graduated his request to a proposal: “C’mon. And I’ll rub some on yours.” Jerry’s snicker right into this line let Kramer know that this idea wasn’t exactly rubbing him the right way.

There’s a time to “break bad” when someone wants something from you, and there’s a time to break it gently. When you do the latter–say, for a friend (or just to be friendly)–you reach for lines like this. It’s Not! wrapped in a snicker–a bit of SNL-type sarcasm softened by Seinfeld-ian irony, the irony here being that this line implies that you might like this deal if they offered you something that gets you past no deal. And they’re trying–you’ll give them that.

But that’s about all you’re giving them.

From “The Hamptons”
Episode 21, Season 5
Seinfeld Volume 4, Disc 4
Timecode for the scene: 2:45

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